My Unintended Audience

A friend of ours who has been a faithful (I think) reader of this blog let me know recently that he appreciated me venturing out from writing about kiddie culture. I assume he was referring to my January 11 entry about the Baby Boomer generation, "A Significance They No Longer Possess". Since then, I've heard from a few other readers (of course none of them have bothered to POST A RESPONSE HERE ON MY BLOG yet) who don't have young children, but enjoy reading here. So I've reconsidered my audience a bit, and have tried to invent some ways to keep these readers engaged (even though they don't bother to POST A RESPONSE HERE ON MY BLOG), while still remaining true to my original purpose. Here is my first attempt.

I was inspired last night as I flipped through the Birthday Express catalog, which arrives at our home every January in anticipation of Walter's March birthday. Somehow, perhaps because I've ordered from them for the last 3 years, these people know when to target us. Anyway, as I looked at theme after theme for kids' birthday parties, it struck me that this would be the perfect way for a person without young children to get a very accurate sense of what's hot with the kiddies these days. The Birthday Express website even has a listing of the "Top 30 Themes" so you can see what is most popular RIGHT NOW. Included are TV shows, movies, and other licensed characters - for example Elmo, Little People, JoJo's Circus, Power Rangers, and Dora the Explorer.

So if you are an aunt, uncle, grandparent, or godparent of little ones, but don't feel like you're in touch with "what's hot" with the kids, here is a great resource for you. Before you take your niece out for ice cream, you can check out Birthday Express to brush up on the latest licensed characters for 7-year-old girls, and when you pick her up you can be conversant in Bratz (if your niece is an aspiring skank), That's So Raven, Kim Possible, and American Idol. Or you can amaze your nephew with talk of Tony Hawk's BoomBoom HuckJam (for the nascent potheads), Justice League, and Yu-Gi-Oh!

Do keep in mind, though, that the Birthday Express party themes are the equivalent of Top 40 music - but some are very interesting and cool. I especially like the Scooby Doo theme with Mystery Machine party favors, and the Harry Potter theme with golden goblets for serving punch and a wizard hat pinata. And the entire menu of options can give any of you without small children a glimpse into the commercial hell that is planning a children's birthday party.

Am I Bloo?

For the mom of an almost-six-year-old boy, there's a lot to dislike about Cartoon Network. Some of their shows seem to serve the very singular purpose of getting kids to spit milk out their nose, like "Ed, Edd and Eddy" (which we quickly realized was the television equivalent of ingensting an entire box of sugared cereal), or "Camp Lazlo." And others are fairly dark and/or violent, and therefore very appealing to little boys, like "Teen Titans," or "The Batman". There are some better offerings on Cartoon Network, though. My husband has introduced Walter to "Gigantor," a 1960's robot cartoon which Cartoon Network airs during Adult Swim, its late-night programming block for grown-ups; and we have found "The Life and Times of Juniper Lee," created by MTV's Real World: San Francisco alumnus Jed Winick, to be quite good.

But by far the best show currently shown on Cartoon Network is "Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends." While this definitely fits in the spitting-milk-through-your-nose variety of comedy, it is much sweeter and more appropriate to the under-eight crowd, but still with tons of cleverness and inside jokes for parents. As the title suggests, Foster's is a home for unwanted or outgrown imaginary friends. The main characters are Mac, an eight-year-old boy forced by his mother to give up his imaginary friend Bloo (short for Blooregard Q. Kazoo), who now resides at Foster's, where Mac frequently visits. The home is run by Madame Foster, with help from her 22-year-old granddaughter Frankie, and the very proper and snooty Mr. Herriman, a top-hat-wearing bunny-butler who was Madame Foster's imaginary friend from her youth.

Many of the imaginary friend characters behave in inappropriate ways, but because Mac -the human child - is always there as the measure of normalcy, these characters do not seem to lead youthful viewers down the wrong path. And the friendship between Mac and Bloo is a warm and fuzzy backdrop for all the silly story lines and wacka-wacka-wacka humor. The writing is sometimes almost over Walter's head -like the episode where Mac tries to teach Bloo about sarcasm - but the action-packed animation and well-defined characters easily keep his attention and guarantee that he always enjoys the show.

"Foster's" was created by Craig McCracken, who also brought us "The Powerpuff Girls", a cartoon I wish had been around when I was a young girl.

Not-So-Intelligent Toy Design

On a recent shopping trip, I came across a new set of Little People toys....three varieties of Little People Lil' Dinos, each of which includes one little cave person. The Brontosaurus, the Triceratops, and the T-Rex (each sold separately) give children the impression that dinosaurs and humans actually lived together. Now the Little People folks have some sets that are less reality-based than others, and there are probably some pretty major historical inaccuracies in their Lil' Pirate Ship or Lil' Kingdom Castle that I'm letting slip by, but portraying dinosaurs and humans together is where I have to draw the line.

Images like that stick with kids, and can be hard to un-teach later on. I don't want the Little People to contradict what my older son already knows about evolution (kids can get early exposure to this concept in the "Land Before Time" movies), or to confuse his thinking. I had to overcome some major geography misconceptions after playing with a United States puzzle for years as a pre-schooler, in which Alaska and Hawaii were placed side by side just south of Arizona. I was surprised to learn later that not only was Alaska quite far north of us, and Hawaii quite far west, but that the United States is bordered on the north and south by Canada and Mexico.

I do have to give the Little People folks credit, though, for creating such a wide variety of sets, for featuring girls and women in a variety of roles (like the woman who drives the bulldozer in a set we have at home), and for demonstrating a fair amount of diversity with characters who are black, Asian, Latino, and differently-abled. I do remember when I was young there was only one Little Person of color, and he looked suspiciously like Roosevelt Franklin from Sesame Street. But even way back then, no one tried to teach me that humans co-existed with dinosaurs.

A Good Thing (but not great)

Having been curious about it for a few months, I was excited when I finally ordered the Martha Stewart Baby: Sleepytime CD a few weeks ago. The track listing and the artists had intrigued me, and I was looking forward to reading the liner notes to find out how this particular group of artists and songs had been assembled for Martha's first effort as a record producer.

When the CD arrived in the mail, I popped it in the car first while I ran some errands with Ralph in the back seat. We both enjoyed it, and after hearing most of the record, I was looking forward even more to reading the liner notes. That evening, I finally got a look at them and was somewhat disillusioned.

Reading the liner notes (and as I refer to them as liner notes, imagine me holding up both hands to signal quotation marks -- they can hardly be called that, as they include virtually no information about the songs or the artists), it became clear very quickly that Martha had simply compiled a group of already-recorded songs by these various artists, added her "Martha Stewart Baby" brand to it, and sold it to unsuspecting parents like myself.

"You didn't really think she was in the studio helping to mix this, did you?" my husband asked, when I expressed my disappointment.

"No, but I thought at least she had picked out these songs and invited each of these musicians to record one of them. Or picked the musicians and then asked them each to record one of their favorite songs," I explained. These had all been recorded already. So this record is basically Martha's fancy version of a mix tape.

If you don't mind that it is basically a K-Tel record, Martha Stewart Baby: Sleepytime is a good thing. Artists and tracks include "Baby Mine" by Alison Kraus, "Close to You" by Barenaked Ladies, "Come Away to Sea" by David Wilcox, and "Goodnight" by Linda Ronstadt. Perhaps the best are "Blackbird" by Kenny Rankin and "Home" by Jenny Bruce. It's soothing, relaxing music that might help to get a baby settled down for naptime or bedtime, but not so mundane or dull that it puts you to sleep. But if you have access to e-Music or a similar online service that allows you to purchase and download singles, you might be better off "producing" your own baby album. Although in doing so, you would miss out on the fabulous resources included in Martha's liner notes.

With "Sleepytime" you get tips on how to make a ribbon lampshade for the nursery, detailed instructions for preserving and displaying mementos of baby's first year in shadowboxes, and two panels about feeding (?!?) your baby. Here is an excerpt from the section called "Feedingtime": "Human breastmilk is rich in sugars and cholesterol, which produce energy and build brains and nerves. A mother's milk is a miraculous substance...." I feared that Martha was about to suggest that we serve breastmilk steaming hot in a ceramic mug, perhaps with some nutmeg sprinkled over the top, but was relieved to find that she did not go so far as to offer recipe tips. It's a good thing.

Open Wide

Today as I fed our younger son Ralph his lunch, I was super pleased at how well he was gulping down spoonful after spoonful of baby food. We were nearing the end of a jar of pureed green beans, which I especially enjoy watching him eat (knowing that in a few months when he is beyond the jar foods and only eating solids he may decide, like our older son, to never eat another green bean in his life), when I witnessed something amazing.

Ralph opened wide for another spoonful, and even said "Ahhh," which is unusual for him, but not completely unheard of. I should have realized that "Ahhh" was only the beginning of what he had to say, but I proudly shoved a baby-spoonful of green beans into his open mouth. Just as I pulled the empty spoon from his mouth, it dawned on me what was coming after the "Ahhh...." Ralph was about to sneeze. And I had just stuffed his mouth with pureed green beans. I must have had only a second or two to realize this and to think about what to do next, but it seemed like several minutes. I considered running into the next room, or possibly diving under the table. I tried to imagine reaching in and scooping the green beans out of his mouth, or holding a napkin in front of my face (or his) to shield myself from the explosion. And then I quite purposefully decided to sit, facing him, and watch this catastrophe head on. As the "....choo!" flew from his mouth, a spattering of green beans covered us both.

It looked like there had been a paintball fight at our dining room table. Little droplets of green beans were everywhere, and a few larger glops were on the tray of his highchair and on my shirt. On another day, I might have yelled, or cried, or just walked out of the room and had a "moment" in the kitchen. But I laughed. And Ralph laughed. Even as the green goo dried in my hair, I continued to laugh. It was not hard to clean up, especially compared to other less exciting baby messes I have been a party to. I would even go so far as to call it entertaining, which brings me to my point. (Yes, I do have a point.....I promise I am not turning my blog into "Here's another cute thing my son did today.")

Sometimes our children can provide us with some of the finest entertainment there is. So in your search for a great new movie or book or song to enjoy with your kids, don't forget to just enjoy your kids. Spend time with them without the TV on. Make up a story with them, instead of reading a book. Sing songs with them instead of popping in a CD. The green bean incident reminded me that the most entertaining moments can happen right there around the dinner table.

A Significance They No Longer Possess

This is the first of possibly several off-topic posts here at The Lovely Mrs. Davis Tells You What to Think. I've been inspired to Tell You What to Think about so many new and different things lately, I just can't hold back.

New Year's Eve, I caught a glimpse of the future that was so disturbing, I've continued to ponder it ever since. Throughout the late evning, my husband and I were flipping channels between MTV, ESPN (yes, they had a New Year's Eve special), and New Year's Rockin' Eve on ABC. We saw Dick Clark's return to television, which was disturbing in itself (the best description I've heard was when Glenn Beck called it "heroic and sad"), but a commercial that soon followed is what really made me stop and think about the new year that was beginning.

Within moments of Clark's appearance, I saw a commercial for Ameriprise Financial which tells me: "This year, the Baby Boomers start turning 60. Some might say that's the end of an era. We say it's just the beginning."

Holy crap, I said out loud.

How frightening to think that the Boomer generation, which has lived as if it is the center of the universe since the 1950's, is going to continue to do so, even well into the retirement years. I wanted to jump up and scream at the TV, "It's not about you!" and I may have even done so. Two other very important generations - Generations X (for which I could have been the poster child in my early 20's) and the Millennial Generation (or Generation Y) - are now impacting our culture in very important and positive ways, yet all we continue to hear about are the Boomers. X'ers and Millennials are highly present in the workforce and the marketplace, yet all we hear about are Boomers who are scrambling to save enough to retire soon. Many X'ers are parents and Millennials are just becoming parents, and both are doing some unique things to change the work-family balance in our society, yet we hear more and more about Boomers discovering their role as grandparents. As they begin to retire, Boomers are leaving the X'ers and Millennials a humongous mess to contend with, yet our society continues to celebrate them as if they invented sliced bread. (I had to look that up, just to make sure a Boomer didn't invent sliced bread, since it seems like they've gotten credit for darn near everything else that's good and right.)

For every step the Boomers have taken in life, our society has reacted as if Boomers were the first to do it - going to college, getting married, having children, sending kids to college, and now turning 60 and preparing to retire. In the first two weeks of 2006, there were numerous news features on the Boomers turning 60, including a series on ABC World News Tonight called "Boomer Breakthroughs." I hope sometime later this year, the media can give a little attention to the rest of us. The Boomers have made some very meaningful contributions, however, for every Bill Gates or Oprah Winfrey there is a Kenneth Lay or Bill O'Reilly. And as the Boomers near the end of their careers, our culture needs to shift focus to the next generations, or we're all going to be stuck watching 60-somethings moving into condos while a group of 30-somethings are changing the world. It's like ESPN staying on the Senior Open when the Cubs home opener is starting.

But even as they enter their sixties, the Boomers are refusing to let go of their younger image. One very prominent Boomer webiste is called Aging Hipsters. That name might sound cute now, but imagine a bunch of gray-hairs surfing over to that site to chat about incontinence or early warning signs of stroke. Some have predicted that the Boomers will make aging "cool" or "hip" - but I think if they aren't careful, they'll come off as kind of pathetic and awkward.

So happy birthday, Boomers, and now please step aside.

Postmodern Childhood

As a Generation X parent, I have enjoyed sharing lots of favorites from my childhood with my own children. Today's postmodern, media obsessed culture has made it easy for me to do so. First it was the old Saturday morning Schoolhouse Rock being resurrected with covers by alternative and grunge bands in 1996 on the CD Schoolhouse Rock Rocks, although that was more for adult GenX-ers than for kids. "The Energy Blues" performed by Biz Markie or "The Shot Heard 'Round the World" performed by Ween -- what a perfect way for us to reminisce about our childhood Saturday mornings. Then came Schoolhouse Rock on DVD in a 30th Anniversary edition in 2002, with all 46 animated songs, plus one new song called "I'm Gonna Send Your Vote to College." This was for adults and kids both, perhaps ideally for adults to watch with their kids, which we did. Honestly, my husband and I enjoyed it more than Walter, but in the last few years he has grown more interested in Schoolhouse Rock.

Boomerang - a cable channel devoted to cartoon "oldies" like the Flintstones and The Jetsons was launched several years back. "The Muppet Show" and "Fraggle Rock" have come out on DVD, and more recently I saw a boxed set of ABC Afterschool Specials. Even "Little House on the Prairie" was re-packaged into a new TV mini-series early in 2005.

Do Generation X parents have such fond memories of their childhood TV viewing that they must pass on these memories to their children? Or are Generation X-er's (parents or not) just incredibly willing to shell out the bucks to continue funding these re-mastered, re-packaged, re-invented shows? We've all known since The Brady Bunch Movie (1995) that postmodernism is hot, and what better market for it than Generation X. Throw in parenthood and a bit of nostalgia for our own childhoods, and you could sell us darn near anything that hints of pre-1985 and can be watched in the presence of our chilren. Perhaps that is what drove my husband to purchase an Underdog DVD for Walter last Christmas (Walter loved it, by the way, but we did have to explain cartoon characters smoking cigarettes).

With so many creative, smart, funny new cartoon series for children today, there is little need for us to bring back "Speed Buggy" or the like . But it is worthwhile and fun, I think, to share true classics like "The Muppet Show", or oddities like "Land of the Lost" (really, anything made by Sid and Marty Krofft) with our kids. And Schoolhouse Rock - the CD and the DVD - totally rocks, for us and for our kids. So if you need your fix of postmodernity or nostalgia, there are some great options out there.