Driving in Cars With Girls

In one of those childcare arrangements that is too complicated to explain in detail, I ended up being responsible for my friend Traci's two daughters at our kids' soccer game on Saturday morning, then driving them to their babysitter's house after the game.

It was fun to help her 5-year-old put her pigtails back in after pulling them out. It was exciting to see her 6-year-old do so well in the soccer game, and to cheer for her loudly in her own mom's absence. It was strange to hear the girlish chatter coming from the backseat of the car as I drove them across town. "Do you have any gum?" they asked. Was this a girl thing, I wondered, or just something my own kids never ask?

As a mom of two boys, this was a tiny peek into life with little girls, and something that got me thinking.

What if we decided to have another baby? Would my husband, who grew up as an only child, ever agree to this?

What if we had another boy? Would I be disappointed? Would I forever think, you were my last chance for a daughter, every time I looked at that child? Would he know? Or would we be happy - really happy - with a third child, regardless of its gender?

And what if we had a girl? Would that make me feel complete in all the ways I imagine that it would? Or would I completely screw up with a daugther?

These are hard questions. One of these days we'll need to make the decision that we're done having kids, and chances are it will be before adding another child to our family. My husband could easily make that decision today. He's ready to sell the Exersaucer and the other baby gear that our youngest has outgrown. But I'm not quite ready to decide that we're done. I'm still packing it all away and saving it. Just in case.

I Hate Fast Food: The Sequel

Remember those cool "Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends" toys at Burger King that I mentioned a while back? Well, they sold out fast, and now Burger King has already started advertising their new toys: GI Joe for boys and Bratz for girls.

Could the gender stereotyping get any worse? It drives me nuts when the fast food places offer one choice for girls (Barbie or Bratz or something pink) and a different choice for boys (usually Hot Wheels or something violent-ish). Regardless of gender, I don't want my children playing with either GI Joe or Bratz.

So I'm back to hating fast food.

But there is some good news about "Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends." The producers of the show now have their own blog, Blogregard Q. Kazoo. There are lots of interesting things there, including sketches of many of the characters that show how they were developed. Take a look.

Friday Music Dump

I continue to be amazed at how much children's music there is, and I'm finding myself more overwhelmed trying to keep up. There are several artists sitting here in my listening pile who I want to bring to your attention because they are doing some wonderful things, even though they don't quite fit my ideal of "music I can truly enjoy with my children."

First up is Kaleidoscope Songs, the work of Alan Bell (lyrics) and Alex Mitnik (music). Mitnik is also the frontman for the Kaleidoscope Band. Bell and Mitnik bring a lot to the table in terms of education and experience - Bell is an artist, teacher and therapist with years of experience serving children and families; Mitnik directs the music program for the Princeton Montessori School and is on faculty at the Princeton Center for Teacher Education.

Their two CD's, Kaleidoscope Songs 1 and 2, are packed with songs that teach and inspire self-reflection. Kaleidoscope Songs were a bit heavy-handed for me, but I know there are some of you who place I very high value on music that is educational. The lessons in these songs are very intentional and literal, and I found that I was extremely conscious of them nearly all the time we were listening. But the values Bell and Mitnik are imparting through this music are important to many parents, and that alone might make this a must-have for some of you. Learn more and hear samples here.

Next is Raffi, whose new CD Quiet Time was released in April. This collection of soothing, tranquil songs from past Raffi albums includes familiar favorites like "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" and "Rock-a-bye Baby" as well as six Raffi originals. Quiet Time is just right for naptime, if your child likes to fall asleep to music. You can find a full review of Quiet Time at Zooglobble or learn more about Raffi here.

Beethoven's Wig 3: Many More Sing Along Symphonies, the third in the Beethoven's Wig series, was released May 2. This is classical music with fun lyrics added - highly instructive, yet wacky and relaxed. It pokes fun at the stuffiness of classical music (and as a classically trained musician, I enjoy this) while helping listeners to understand and appreciate some of the great works of Beethoven, Bach, Tchaikovsky, and others. Again, I am grateful to Stefan at Zooglobble for writing a full review of this one. Of the three artists highlighted here, Beethoven's Wig is probably the most enjoyable for me and my six-year-old. Learn more and hear samples here.

One reason I'm having such a hard time keeping up with all the great new children's music is that I've been distracted by some really amazing new grown-up music which is getting more playtime in my car. I received Under The Covers Vol. 1 for Mother's Day and have been loving it. It's Matthew Sweet and Susanna Hoffs (from the Bangles) doing covers of old 60's tunes like "It's All Over Now, Baby Blue" and "Cinnamon Girl." Love Matthew Sweet. Love Susanna Hoffs. Love covers (see post below). This is fabulous stuff. And unlike some of my other favorite music (like the new Liz Phair album, also fabulous), it seems to be fine for listening to with the kids.

Let's Audio

I had a big technological breakthrough today and have to share. I can post mp3 files! Hmmmmm....the options now seem endless. Tomorrow, I'm going to work on mastering time travel. Or possibly cloning.

For now, please enjoy some audio. My husband recently introduced me to this site, which posts a variety of artists covering one particular song. Earlier this week, they posted 20-plus covers one of our favorite songs, "God Only Knows" by the Beach Boys. This was on the Beach Boys' Pet Sounds album, which we played in-utero for Walter. I loved the song "Caroline, No" because we planned to name a girl Caroline, but I mainly loved the genius of Brian Wilson that is present all over Pet Sounds. We also played that album a whole lot after Walter was born, and this song, "God Only Knows," always helped to calm him down when he was fussy.

The cover I'm sharing here is by Jonatha Brooke. Other covers of "God Only Knows" are by Mandy Moore and Michael Stipe (together, I'm not sure how or why), Glenn Campbell, and Joss Stone. Other songs posted recently at MOKB include "Suspicious Minds" (Elvis Presley), "Don't Fear the Reaper" (Blue Oyster Cult), "Hallelujah" (Leonard Cohen), and "Where is My Mind" (The Pixies). Something for everyone. Check it out.

Be sure to stop back soon for time travel. And cloning. And now, enjoy this:

Jonatha Brooke: God Only Knows

Important note: MP3s are posted here for sampling purposes only. If you like what you hear, buy a CD! If you have a complaint about the ownership of a track, please contact me directly and I will be happy to take it down ASAP.

Bad Music Confessions

Inspired by the worst mix-tape ever challenge that is going on in all these places, and learning that some of my readers are feeling self-conscious about some of their own choices in children's music, I decided it was time to reveal some of my own bad music confessions. Just because I love cool and interesting children's music doesn't mean I haven't listened to any of the not-so-fabulous stuff. And I promise I won't mock you if you are watching or listening to this or this or even this. I'm just here to let you know that you have options. Better options. Lots of options.

Let's start with the often-derided yet surprisingly popular line of audio-visual entertainment for infants, Baby Einstein. There are four - count 'em, four - Baby Einstein videos/DVD's in my house right now. The DVD, Baby Beethoven, was received when our younger son was born last year. It was on our registry. Yes, I asked for it. Just because many of us moms despise this woman for hitting it big with her seemingly lame "Puppets + Toys + Video Camera = Fame and Fortune" formula doesn't mean these aren't worthwhile in certain situations. Like when you're home alone with a 6-month-old and you need a shower.

Until last year, when I purged most of our VHS collection, we had a copy of this Barney video and this Wiggles Christmas video. Barney was a gift. I bought Yule Be Wiggling at 75 percent off when our local K-mart was going out of business a few years back. But these gems lived in our house for three years or more. And we watched them. Several times.

I am the proud owner of these fine CD's. And I think they are all pretty good. Especially Heroes and Villians, which includes Frank Black singing "Pray for the Girls" (mighty fine) and Devo's "Go Monkey Go."

Outside of the children's music genre, readers might be surprised that I own (and enjoy) CD's like Wilson Phillips' California and Vonda Shepard's Songs from Ally McBeal. Gasp.

So there you have it. Mrs. Davis is human. Even the finest food critics must eat at TGI Friday's once in a while, don't you think? Please feel free to share your bad music confessions - children's music or otherwise. Now you know I have no room to judge.

Toledo Rocks

I had a rare treat this weekend - going to see an actual live show! I've discovered a brand new children's music artist right in my own backyard. And there's an interesting story about how we found each other...

Ever since early April, when NPR did that story on fellow children's music blogger Stefan over at Zooglobble, and Stefan was kind enough to share the love by highlighting other bloggers like me, there's been a lot of buzz on the blogs about children's music, and I've been enjoying a pretty steady stream of e-mails from artists asking how they can submit a CD for review. And I love this!

So a couple weeks ago, I got one such e-mail from Wilson Lake and the Rock Bass, and after checking out some of their sounds on CDBaby, I e-mailed this guy back with my mailing address. Well, it turns out he could have driven over to my house with his CD. He's right here in Northwest Ohio. (Northwest Ohio is a nicer way of saying the greater Toledo area.)

Anyway....

With the CD came this nice note alerting me to the news that Wilson Lake and Rock Bass would be performing this very Saturday at a public library literacy festival near Toledo. So after our Saturday morning soccer game (which came after ten straight days of rain, squish, squish), we jumped in the car and headed out to see them.

What a great show! We heard most - if not all - of the songs from their self-titled CD, plus some new ones. We got coloring sheets for the kids. And stickers. My son got up and danced. And after the show I got to talk to Tom Jackson, the man behind Wilson Lake.

Tom is a teacher, a father, a musician and an outdoorsman - and these four roles really came together in his creation of Wilson Lake and the Rock Bass. This guy knows how to entertain and engage kids. He's young (young = about my age), funny, and laid-back. And he's developed a totally unique brand of children's music which he calls Adventure Rock. His songs are all about skipping rocks, camping, roasting marshmallows, and other outdoor activities. Even though my family's idea of camping is staying at a hotel without wireless access, I found the Adventure Rock angle very appealing and smart.

Wilson Lake is a fairly new venture for Tom, who is a veteran of the Toledo bar band scene. He and the Rock Bass have been playing together for less than a year, and they are just beginning to make a name for themselves in the area. But I think they're onto something.

"Welcome to My Cabin" opens both the CD and their live show. It's a catchy, happy tune that very nicely sets the pace for what's ahead. Other songs, like "Old News" and "Rock Skippin," do more to highlight Tom's song-writing and guitar-playing chops. Sandy Skala, who joins Tom on vocals (plus a little tambourine and kazoo here and there), balances beautifully with him, and stands out on the tongue-twisting "Fish Flippin' Fever."

You can listen to sound samples and purchase Wilson Lake and the Rock Bass here. And read more about them at their Website.

11 Days

Only 11 more days of school. And then what are we going to do? I knew the end of the school year was getting close, but I guess I didn't realize it was that close. Until today. Oh my.

As evidence that we've been watching too much TV (or, more likely, talking too much about TV, since we turn it off by 6 pm and don't turn it on again until both kids are in bed), my six-year-old has begun referring to his upcoming last day of school as The Kindergarten Season Finale.

And this child - the same child who I've had so much difficulty getting interested in reading - wants to "read" The DaVinci Code. It's going to be an interesting summer.

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Updated to add: Please note the quotation marks when I say my son wants to "read" The DaVinci Code. There's no way he could read this! And although I read it myself when it first came out - and I loved it - there's no way I'm reading it again. To him. I picked up an Encyclopedia Brown book for him at the library the other day and hope that will satisfy his craving for mystery and intrigue.

Lookie There!

For some, it's that new car smell (toxic as it may be). For others, it's that feeling you get after getting new professional highlights or a radically different haircut. Some get the rush from wearing new shoes, or really comfortable new pajamas. I've felt it when I've gotten new furniture or new appliances. (Oooohhh, how I love new appliances.)

Wherever you get that wonderful high that comes with enjoying something brand spanking new, I am basking in it today thanks to my NEW blog design by Izzy. Don't you love it? This new look is nearly as exciting as that stainless steel side-by-side fridge with the light-up ice dispenser that I've got my eye on, but much more reasonably priced.

I've been reading Izzy's blog and she's been reading mine over the last several months, so she is one of my "friends inside the computer." Everything she knows about me is from what she's read here, or from email messages. So I think she did a pretty fantabulous job of capturing just what I was looking for in that new header up there. And she spiffed things up over there in the sidebar too. Pretty nice, huh?

If you need some design help, check her out. And enjoy the new look!

Catch of the Day

I was happier than usual to see the UPS man yesterday. He brought to my door the brand new Dan Zanes and Friends CD, Catch That Train! which was released earlier this week. This musically adventurous album features old and new Friends, including Natalie Merchant on "Loch Lomond," Father Goose on the irresistible "Choo Choo Ch'Boogie" and "Pata Pata," and The Kronos Quartet on "Grey Goose." Another Friend I was especially glad to see was Dan's brother Warren, making an appearance on "Mariposa Ole."

The album opens with the title track, an easy-going Zanes original which invites listeners along on a train ride, presumably a metaphor for the musical adventure which lies ahead. But besides an eclectic assortment of musical styles and sounds, the rest of the album is sprinkled with some meaningful social commentary.

A few tracks in, we hear The Blind Boys of Alabama joining Zanes on the spritual "The Welcome Table." The lyrics - I'm going to sit at the welcome table one of these days - were adapted to the civil rights moment in the 1960's with lines like, I'm going to sit at the Woolworth's counter.... Although he remarks in the liner notes on the meaning these lyrics hold today, I can't imagine Zanes could have forseen how spectacularly appropriate this song would be at this very moment, given the events of the last few weeks surrounding immigration reform issues.

Another song that stands out is Zanes' rendition of the old Socialist workers anthem "I Don't Want Your Millions, Mister." Juxtaposed with other current events - the seemingly endless parade of white collar criminals such as Kenneth Lay and Tom Noe (a corrupt Ohio political hanger-on) having their days in court, and the enormous profits enjoyed by oil company executives while the rest of America forks over three bucks for a gallon of gas - this song made my heart ache.

Two Zanes originals, "Wander in the Summer Wind" and "Moonlit Town," are basically love songs to Brooklyn, and they will no doubt be on the set list for Zanes' June 3 benefit concert for Develop Don't Destroy Brooklyn (DDDB).

"While the Music is Playing" gave me a strange sense of deja-vu, and when I looked at the liner notes, I quickly realized why. Zanes wrote this song about his trip last summer through Iowa - my home state - where he and The Friends traveled around performing at schools, senior centers, libraries, parades - packing as much music as possible into every day, and discovering "endless possibilities for small-town musical fun."

A trip to Iowa, and songs packed with social commentary and happy togetherness lead me to believe that Dan Zanes may be preparing to run for president in 2008. We can only hope. He could appoint some of the Friends from his albums to cabinet positions - Father Goose, Sandra Bernhard, oh, and Warren as Secretary of Coolness. But I digress....

Catch That Train is an amazing album. A couple of bonuses are included - the insightful liner notes (with guitar chords above the lyrics!), and the fabulous video of "Catch That Train!" Musically, this album is diverse and inspired. And thematically, it's packed with populist thought and community building. It's a socially-conscious album that we can all dance to.
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Updated 6/13: Welcome, Dan Zanes fans! If you linked here from the Dan Zanes e-newsletter, stop and take a look around. The main page is here, or, if you're asking yourself "what is this fabulous place?" you can find some answers here and here. Oh, and here is another post I wrote about Dan Zanes. Thanks for visiting!

Get Your Feet Wet

We've made a lot of new discoveries in children's music lately here at The Lovely Mrs. Davis Tells You What to Think. So many, in fact, that some readers may be feeling a bit overwhelmed by the choices. Never fear....Mrs. Davis is here to help.

If you're curious about artists like Trout Fishing in America, Justin Roberts, or Laurie Berkner, but too non-committal or indecisive to actually purchase one of their CD's, here is an easy solution.

Folk Playground, the new release from Putumayo Kids, is due out next Tuesday, May 23. It includes the artists mentioned above, as well as Dan Zanes, Liz Mitchell, Brady Rymer, and more. This is a fantastic sampling of familiar American folk music, presented by a vertiable smorgasbord of current children's music artists - an easy way to get your feet wet and sample some of the many children's music artists out there.

Highlights include "Got No Strings" sung by Michelle Shocked, "Froggie Went a Courtin" sung by Laurie Berkner, and "It's All How You Look at It" sung by Brady Rymer. I'm not sure if kids will appreciate Leon Redbone's rendition of "Polly Wolly Doodle" but the rest of the album is totally enjoyable for kids and adults. Hear samples, read more, and order your own copy here.

Folk Playground is the latest intallment in Putumayo Kids' award-winning Playground series, which began in 1999 with World Playground. Others include French Playground, Caribbean Playground, and the January 2006 release Reggae Playground. Jamaican artists, including Judy Mowatt, Rita Marley (wife of Bob, mother of Ziggy), and The Burning Souls are joined by artists from the U.S., Brazil, and Indonesia. Although most of the songs were not familiar to us, this was easy and relaxing listening. The Burning Souls' reggae interpretation of "Here Comes the Sun" and Toots and the Maytals' "Take Me Home Country Roads" made Reggae Playground even more accessible.

Not sure how to explain reggae music to your children? (If you're like me, you know reggae when you hear it, but you couldn't quite put it into words that kids could understand.) Not to worry. The liner notes include great descriptions of reggae and of each song, in plain English (also in plain Spanish, French, and German).

Another January release from Putumayo is One World, One Kid, an incredibly unique CD featuring six songs from all over the world, and introductions by the six-year-old Skyler Pia. Putumayo is donating 100 percent of its proceeds from this CD (specially priced at $5.98) to the Make-a-Wish Foundation. Click here to read the inspiring story of why and how Skyler Pia created One World, One Kid, or to order your own copy.

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Update: Heather and others have asked about the new Dan Zanes album, Catch That Train! The review will be up tonight! Stay tuned....

Have I Always Been Like This?

Have I always been obsessed with pop culture and current events? Evidently, yes. In fact, I recently found what may be my first blog entry - written around 1976 or 1977 (sometime after Jimmy Carter was elected president and before Elvis died), probably when I was in second grade. It's actually a school writing assignment: "Choose seven famous people with whom you would like to have dinner...."

The seven famous people I chose were surprising to me as I read this assignment 30 years later. I was an odd little girl. My dinner guests:

1. Tim Conway, because "I could learn how he got started in show business and what he's done in show business. I want to learn all of that." Is it just me, or does it seem odd that an eight-year-old was a Tim Conway fan? I do remember watching him on Carol Burnett.

2. Nadia Comaneci "gymnastic star."

3. Jimmy Carter. "I would like to learn from him about politics and about his family." I remember being fascinated with his daughter Amy because she was so close to my age, and we had the same first name. Years later, in my mid-20's, I lived in the same neighborhood as her in Atlanta and I used to see her working at the Chapter 11 Bookstore in Midtown.

4. Elvis Presley, "because he's so good at singing and is the King of Rock." I'm disappointed to learn that my musical tastes at age eight were not more hip or current. Not the Sex Pistols. Not Fleetwood Mac. Not even Abba or Styx. I wanted to have dinner with Elvis.

5. Santa Claus. Okay, so I really was eight when I wrote this.

6. Benji the dog. "Benji is interesting because he's been trained to do so many fastinating [sic] things and he's so famous for just a dog."

7. Charles Schultz. The Peanuts guy. I must have been really stretching to come up with number seven, because I can't recall ever finding him interesting.

My list would be different today. I might keep Jimmy Carter on there. The others, definitely not. And there would be more women. Where are all the women? Why did I pick Tim Conway instead of Carol Burnett? Why did I pick Jimmy Carter instead of Amy Carter (when she was probably the one I really wanted to meet)?

I've been going through boxes of old keepsakes that my mom had packed away for me. This paper is one of my favorite finds so far, up there with my old piano lesson assignment notebooks, and letters I wrote home from my freshman year of college. Oh, and the pictures. I'll be having fun with all these pictures.

Jack Black is Back!

I've had lots of visitors coming here looking for the Jack Black promo for the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards that I raved about a while back. Finally....here is a new link to it. Enjoy! Thanks to Bryan for sending the link.

And if you're a Jack Black fan, you are probably looking forward to his new movie Nacho Libre, in theaters June 16. Psssst, that's Father's Day weekend, and if your husband's taste is anything like my husband's, a night out (with you or maybe with his guy friends if you think you can't stand this movie) is possibly the best Father's Day present you could give him.

Then again, you might be married to a man who just wants a new putter. What is that like? Really. I have no idea.

This Mom Will Rock Your Socks Off

Okay, I'll admit it. When it comes to children's music artists, I might be partial to moms. The more children's music I hear, the more I realize that the moms in this genre have certain qualities about their music that just aren't as present in the music of other artists. Some of my favorite children's music moms these days are Rebecca Frezza, Lisa Mathews (of Milkshake), and the new mom on the children's music scene Frances England.

But there's another mom making children's music who is new to me - Charity Kahn, whose San Francisco-based group Charity and the JAMBand released its third album, Rock Your Socks Off in February of this year. (For those of you who are wondering, JAM = Joy And Music.)

This is a high-energy, fun-filled bunch of songs that will make families want to get up and groove. Some of the songs, like "Jump into the Middle" and "Towel Tango," have lyrics that very clearly invite the listeners to dance along, and "Partner Dance" is built on a very funky version of "Ring Around the Rosie." Many of the songs have simple, catchy lyrics that make it easy to sing along. My favorites are the beautiful, soulful "Whatcha Gonna Bring," which spotlights Kahn's piano and vocals (ala Tori Amos) and has an 80's quality to it that I can't quite put my finger on, "Cake," and the prayer-chant-like "Peace Dream." Kahn's voice is unique and versatile.

My one complaint about the album is that it lacks some spontanaeity. The songs are creative and fun, but they sound very rehearsed and almost rigid on the CD. It's easy to imagine, though, how amazing this group would be to see and hear in a live performance, and I suspect that is where the spontanaeity flows for them.

More than just a children's music recording artist, Charity Kahn of Charity and the JAMBand is going above and beyond recording to get kids and parents into good music. She teaches JAMClasses, where parents and children can bond through music and movement; she offers other workshops and training opportunities; and she performs solo and with the JAMBand at venues ranging from outdoor festivals to public libraries. In addition to being a classically-trained (and totally rocking) musician, Kahn is a mathemetician with a degree from Stanford and a mom of two children. She has published a book on the connections between music and math. Her approach to children's music is well-developed and intentional, and her passion for bringing a love of music to children and parents is clearly evident. This is one smart mom-musician-visionary.

If you're in the LA area, you can catch Charity in solo performances this week at the Beverly Hills Library and Play Cafe in LA on Thursday (May 18), and Charity with the JAMBand at McCabe's in Santa Monica on Sunday (May 21). If you're in the San Francisco area, you have numerous opportunities to see Charity and the JAMBand. California readers, go and report back!

Rock Your Socks off is available at CDBaby and Amazon, and song samples are available at both sites. Listeners can also download a free mp3 of the previously unreleased song "No Doubt About It (I Love You)" at the band's Website.

Some Big Ideas

Parents' Choice Foundation announced its Spring 2006 Parents' Choice Award Winners this week, and it's incredible to see the number of winners in the music category. There is clearly no shortage of children's music these days. The problem, more often, is finding the good stuff. But glancing through the list, I see quite a bit of good stuff, including two gold award winners who are favorites around our house - Justin Roberts' album Meltdown (reviewed here), and Charity and the Jam Band's Rock Your Socks Off (a full review of that is coming up next week).

Here is a great interview with Kenny Curtis of XM Satellite Radio about the current popularity of children's music. I share his excitement about children's music, and I also agree wholeheartedly with this statement:

"...there's still a lot of mediocre mush going around. Some folks seem to be jumping enthusiastically into the Kids realm simply because they think they could be the next Wiggle – not out of any real desire to affect kids, just a misdirected desire to be famous."

It's that whole "big fish, small pond" thing that makes some artists believe they can be huge in this genre, when they know full well they don't have anything near what it takes to make it in any other genre. But these days, the children's music genre is not such a small pond anymore, and there are some really big fish (talented artists) showing up here and raising the expectations for everyone. My prediction: children's music is going to get better and better.

I was just thinking this week that it might be time for a children's version of MTV (or what MTV used to be around 1985, when they showed videos and had vee-jays), and the Kenny Curtis interview really confirms that for me. Imagine a channel devoted entirely to children's music. For the artists who aren't making videos yet, it would be cheap and easy to shoot video of little kids dancing. Or celebrities dancing with little kids. Or maybe just a slideshow of pictures of kids, kind of like the Dan Zanes video for "Smile."

You folks at Noggin or Disney or whoever decides to pursue this idea give me a call, okay? I'd love to work with you on that.

I could be your Martha Quinn.

I'm One of Them

Some of you may have figured out by now that I have a bit of a fascination with demographic labels, generational labels, and stereotypes. One new demographic that I've found myself a part of is that of the Soccer Mom. Going into my son's first season of soccer, which started a few weeks ago, I had some pre-conceived notions about what a Soccer Mom is. I felt that I would not be a good fit with the Soccer Moms, but I was going to give it a good shot and see where it took me.

So I looked up the term Soccer Mom on Wikipedia, and found good news and bad news. First, the good news:

In general, the term "soccer mom" refers to the concept of American post-feminist motherhood as an amalgam of traditional values with modern feminism, though with modern conveniences such as the SUV and cell phone.

Sure, that's me. I can totally fit in with these people. Except for the post-feminist part. I take my feminism straight-up, thank you.

Also, Wikipedia says: a soccer mom is typically imagined as upper middle class, probably college-educated, most often suburban or exurban, and typically white.

Great. Sign me up! I'm middle class (not upper, I don't think), college-educated, exurban and white. I can do this. I can totally be one of these women.

But then came the bad news. Wikipedia goes on to say (and I this is the part of being a Soccer Mom that I feared):

The "soccer mom" typically indicates a single income family....and in this context single incomes symbolise both affluence and a disconnect from the struggling working class. Hence in the term may carry pejorative connotations, where the soccer mom may denote a woman who is aloof and has little responsibility or occupation, other than providing basic transportation for her children.

These are the women I used to laugh at. Have I become one of them? I'm not out of touch at all with the working class. Really. I'm not aloof. I have plenty of responsibility. I still have an income.

Then it gets worse: In feminist circles, the soccer mom may refer to a woman who has given up on a promising and successful career, particularly after having some early aspirations and achievements.

Gack. I quit my full-time job last year so I could work from home doing free-lance work, or "consulting" as I call it when I need to sound important. So motherhood comes before career for me right now. But I still have a career. I could get back in there any time I want and be Very Important again.

In this context this may carry the meaning of someone of diminished individual character.

Wha...??????

Certain groups occasionally use the phrase to denote those with poor parenting skills that stir up moral panic as an excuse for their children's resulting behavior.

Holy hell!!!! I can't be one of those people!

I'm torn between wanting to embrace the Soccer Mom identity and wanting to run in the opposite direction. Wikipedia is no authority on who I am, but their definition of Soccer Moms really nailed all the good and bad that I had imagined about this demographic. And here I am, now a part of it.

At his first practice, when his team played a scrimmage at the end, Walter started yelling to the coach and the other players, "I have a plan! I have a plan!" There is no "plan" in 5- and 6-year-old soccer. There are no positions, no plays. It's just chaos. But Walter had a plan, and he was determined to tell everyone about it. I was horrified.

"Stop talking and FOLLOW THE BALL!!!" I shrieked from the sidelines. Poor parenting skills? Moi?

It turns out Walter's plan was that he would stand near the goal, someone would kick the ball to him, and he would kick it in. Not bad, huh? And that was some fine encouragement he got from me.

At Walter's first game, I made a deliberate attempt to keep my mouth shut, except to say nice things. I agreed to watch another mom's daughter so she could drive over to the T-Ball complex nearby to see her older daughter play there. I talked to another mom about the Daytime Emmys, which were on the night before. ("Wasn't Rick Springfield great?!" I said.) I took pictures. I clapped and cheered, especially when Walter scored a goal. I didn't criticize. That part was hard. The rest of it, not so bad.

I'm a soccer mom. I'm making this work.

What I Haven't Said

Mother's Day is Sunday, and I've been thinking for a while about how to address it here - funny quips about what being a mom means to me, pictures of me with my kids, some insightful words about how my generation is changing motherhood. Those would all be great ways for me to avoid writing about my own mom, as I have avoided her for all the months I have been writing here. Maybe this would be a good time to tell you about her.

My mom died last year.

That is what I have needed to tell you, what I have needed to write about. She was diagnosed with lung cancer last July, and she died November 17 at age 73. She'd had many health problems over the last few years, so her death was not sudden, but it was not what I was expecting.

It was so incongruous to me that I was establishing my own identity as a mother just as I was losing my own. Sure, I'd been a mother for more than five years, and had plenty of opportunity to talk with her about my experiences with our first son, but there was so much about motherhood that was just being revealed to me as I welcomed our second son and prepared to send our first son off to school. And I never really had a chance to talk with her much about that.

I am about the same age now that my mom was when she had me. There is a lot of her that I see in myself these days, both good and bad. This has probably been the most difficult part of these last six months, that I've been so conscious of becoming her - or trying not to -while grieving her loss.

There are a lot of funny, interesting, and amazing things I could tell you about my mom. I'm not going to do that today, but now that I've gotten this out, maybe I can start to mention her once in a while and talk more openly about motherhood. There is so much I haven't been able to say here, because it would require me to say, "oh, and by the way, my mom died last year," and I just wasn't ready to explain that. Until now.

Rawk Out

In my hometown, there is a radio station that plays "Classic Rock" - or, as my husband calls it, "Rawk." Every time we go back to Iowa for a visit, I notice they are still playing Pink Floyd, Led Zepplin, and AC/DC. They've added a few newer artists in their rotation, but nothing that veers too far off the course they set back in 1974.

Classic Rock radio format is what came to mind when I heard Eat Every Bean and Pea on Your Plate, the brand new release from Daddy-a-Go-Go. This made me consider where on the radio dial other children's music would be if it weren't, well, children's music. Most of the children's music that I enjoy would probably fall into Alternative or Soft Rock, some others would definitely fall into Top 40 or that catch-all Favorite Hits of the 80s, 90s and Today.

So as strange as it sounds, Eat Every Bean is Classic Rock for kids. It's incredibly Baby Boomer-centric, bringing to mind influences like Bob Seeger or Bruce Springteen. It is the fifth release for Daddy-a-Go-Go, who is actually John Boydston, a 50-something father of two from Atlanta.

On Eat Every Bean, Boydston demonstrates a whole lot of "goofy dad humor" - those kind of jokes your dad (or your husband) tells over and over again that make you roll your eyes and want to slink out of your chair and under the table. His songs cover some of the same topics as other children's music - getting along with younger siblings, playing little league - but because the lyrics are packed with so much silliness, the songs end up seeming shallow as a result. So instead of reacting with "Ah, yes, he really captures the eternal struggle of getting children to eat healthy foods," I found myself thinking, "Did he just say If you eat all your veggies, you'll never get a wedgie?" And yes, he did say that.

There are a few tracks on the album that really made me scratch my head, including an instrumental version of "To Sir, With Love" and "Listen to the Flower People" from Spinal Tap. The cover of the Ramones' "Blitzkrieg Bop" would be great if the lyrics hadn't been changed to "Kids' Beat Bop." Most of the tracks are Boydston originals, and throughout these he incorporates a number of familiar riffs and guitar tones from artists like the Rolling Stones, Tom Petty, and the Grateful Dead.

There is no question that Boydston had fun making this record, but the goofy humor and the Classic Rock sound make me think he was focused more on entertaining himself than entertaining kids. It is possible that he was making this record for dads, and not so much for moms or kids. That is my husband's theory, and he found a lot more to like in this album than I did.

My husband also caught what may be the best scatalogical joke on this album. Is it called Eat Every Bean and Pea on Your Plate? Or is it Eat Every Bean, and Pee on Your Plate? My husband will now tell that joke every time he sees this CD. And that is why this is his kind of album.

You can buy the CD, download MP3's, view the lyrics, and read more about Daddy-a-Go-Go here.

Hey Kids, Get Bent!

Parker Bent, that is. His CD, I am Your New Music Teacher, lives up to its tagline – fun and smart songs written by a preschool teacher for parents, children, and everyone they know. This CD went with us on our recent road trip to Iowa, and it got a lot of play.

Throughout this collection of seven original songs, Bent shows incredible range, from the soothing vocals on “I Wanna Go Home” to the hilarious voice of Mr. Mean on the title track to the very rock-and-roll “Count On.” He incorporates educational material into his songs while keeping them relaxed and enjoyable for both kids and parents.

Bent’s energy is boundless, and it’s clear from listening to him that children would respond very well to his distinct style. David Blaine, who spent a week in a tank of water, has nothing on Parker Bent, who spends every day in a room full of pre-schoolers. That, my friends, is a gift.

As a pre-school teacher in the Los Angeles area, Bent has tested these songs on his own audiences, and he has made some eye-opening discoveries along the way. He explains how he’s applying these new discoveries to his latest project – a rock album for kids: “I've seen the way children intuitively respond to music with drive and high energy. So I'm writing songs with that same drive and energy, with appropriate and smart lyrical content.” I can hardly wait.

You can hear samples and buy I am Your New Music Teacher at CD Baby. Go there now. Get Bent.

Postmodern Childhood (Revisited)

The following is a re-run of a favorite old post from January.....long before anyone was reading The Lovely Mrs. Davis. Since I am traveling for the next few days (actually in Iowa, where it's still 1982 and wireless internet has not been invented yet), this is all I have to keep you entertained. I'll be back after the weekend with fresh stuff!


As a Generation X parent, I have enjoyed sharing lots of favorites from my childhood with my own children. Today's postmodern, media obsessed culture has made it easy for me to do so.

First it was the old Saturday morning Schoolhouse Rock being resurrected with covers by alternative and grunge bands in 1996 on the CD Schoolhouse Rock Rocks, although that was more for adult GenX-ers than for kids. "The Energy Blues" performed by Biz Markie or "The Shot Heard 'Round the World" performed by Ween -- what a perfect way for us to reminisce about our childhood Saturday mornings.

Then came Schoolhouse Rock on DVD in a 30th Anniversary edition in 2002, with all 46 animated songs, plus one new song called "I'm Gonna Send Your Vote to College." This was for adults and kids both, perhaps ideally for adults to watch with their kids, which we did. Honestly, my husband and I enjoyed it more than Walter, but in the last few years he has grown more interested.

Boomerang - a cable channel devoted to cartoon "oldies" like the Flintstones and The Jetsons was launched several years back. "The Muppet Show" and "Fraggle Rock" have come out on DVD, and more recently I saw a boxed set of ABC Afterschool Specials. Even "Little House on the Prairie" was re-packaged into a new TV mini-series early in 2005. Do Generation X parents have such fond memories of their childhood TV viewing that they must pass on these memories to their children? Or are Generation X-er's (parents or not) just incredibly willing to shell out the bucks to continue funding these re-mastered, re-packaged, re-invented shows?

We've all known since The Brady Bunch Movie (1995) that postmodernism is hot, and what better market for it than Generation X. Throw in parenthood and a bit of nostalgia for our own childhoods, and you could sell us darn near anything that hints of pre-1985 and can be watched in the presence of our chilren.

Perhaps that is what drove my husband to purchase an Underdog DVD for Walter last Christmas (Walter loved it, by the way, but we did have to explain cartoon characters smoking cigarettes). With so many creative, smart, funny new cartoon series for children today, there is little need for us to bring back "Speed Buggy" or the like . But it is worthwhile and fun, I think, to share true classics like "The Muppet Show", or oddities like "Land of the Lost" (really, anything made by Sid and Marty Krofft) with our kids. And Schoolhouse Rock - the CD and the DVD - totally rocks, for us and for our kids. So if you need your fix of postmodernity or nostalgia, there are plenty of great options out there.

Guys Read

My husband and I were both early readers and didn't need much help or encouragement to get started. So we have both been troubled that our six-year-old son hasn't been more excited about reading. We've read to him every day since he was an infant, taken him to the library quite regularly, and have encouraged him to play with educational toys like LeapPad and alphabet blocks. While his intelligence is evident in other ways - especially his ability to express himself verbally - his reading skills are not where we expected they would be by this age.

I was thrilled when a friend recently e-mailed me with a link to Guys Read. This is a literacy program for boys led by Jon Scieszka, one of our favorite authors of children's books, including Math Curse and Science Verse. Jon also grew up with five brothers, taught elementary school for 10 years, and is the father of a son and a daughter. So he knows a thing or two about boys and reading.

The Guys Read site is packed with information on why boys need a different approach to reading, how to motivate them to read, and lists of books (organized by age) that may be more appealing to boys. The site also has resources to start a Guys Read initiative at your own school or library, complete with downloadable stickers, posters and bookmarks.

A year or two ago, I would have disputed the idea that boys and girls have such different motivations for reading and learning to read. But my son's experiences in kindergarten have given me new insights. If you need more convincing that boys could benefit from a new approach when it comes to literacy, check out this Newsweek article, which points out some of the ways that boys learn differently that girls, and how many schools and teachers are failing to engage boys in learning.

After reading more about boys' motivations for reading and learning to read, I found that it's typical for boys to want to read to gain some kind of information - whether it's instructions for a video game, sports statistics, or even information about a topic that interests them, like guitars. They also like humor, comics, and graphic novels. Boys are less interested in "literature" in the way many of us would normally define it - short stories, poetry, and novels - but this is how schools typically approach teaching children to read.

Now that I've learned more about this, I can look back over the last couple years at how my son's interest in reading has developed - he has been interested in reading things like the credits at the end of a TV show, the liner notes of a CD or DVD, the information/promotion on the back of his cereal box, the words he sees on street signs and store signs and mail. He has been more interested in informational books than story books. What an "Aha!" moment this has been. He doesn't care what Dick and Jane are going to do next; he wants to know who designed the game he is playing on his GameBoy or which streets we go past before we get to the grocery store. These are his motivations for learning to read.

Maybe someday he will develop an appreciation for great novels. But I'm not going to worry about that now; I'll read Dav Pilkey books all day with him (and TV show credits and cereal boxes and street signs). I'm going to encourage his literacy in whatever way I can.

What I've uncovered so far about boys' literacy is just the tip of the iceberg, I believe. This is a concern of many parents and teachers, and one that is already getting some attention - though it needs more, in my opinion. If you're the parent of a boy and you have concerns about his interest in reading, here are a few more resources:

- A Slate article by Emily Bazelon, another mom of boys, about her experiences with reading and some of her insights on what boys are looking for in books.

- A recent post from children's book illustrator Patricia Storms on her blog BookLust.

- And here is a book I'm going to track down - Connecting Boys with Books: What Libraries Can Do by Michael Sullivan.


Thanks to Susan Thomsen from Chicken Spaghetti for her guidance and resources on this topic. Check out her blog for lots more on children's literature, and for other blogs about children's literature.

I Hate Fast Food

But I'm having a hard time staying away from Burger King this month. They are putting Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends toys in the BK kids meals. Nine different toys. Pure evil.

How many of these nine toys have we already collected? Three. Actually four, if you count the duplicate light-up Eduardos. Four toys. Four kids meals.

I've read Fast Food Nation. I've seen Super Size Me. I know how this scam works - the fast food industry marketing to young children. Yet there I am ordering a cheeseburger kids meal for my son so we can have another one of these Foster's toys. And worse yet, I ordered my one-year-old's first kids meal last week, just so we could have another toy. I fed my baby chicken nuggets and french fries. In a high chair. Wearing a cardboard crown. At the Burger King. Call social services.

Normally, my husband and I are pretty diligent about making sure our children eat healthy. They get very little candy or junk food. We are those parents who give stickers and coloring books and toothbrushes in our children's Easter baskets and Christmas stockings instead of candy. We are those parents who don't allow their six-year-old to drink soda. Ever. We've been talking about letting him try his first sip of Coca-Cola at a baseball game this summer.

So I guess it's a good thing kids meals now come with milk as a beverage option, because when the fast food chains offer a particularly cool toy, we are there. Star Wars, The Fantastic Four....my son has his finger on the pulse of the kids meal toy promotions at the Big Three (McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's) at all times. Eighty or ninety percent of the time, the toys are not worth a trip to the drive thru. But every once in while something comes along that causes us to throw our mad parenting skills out the window.

And this is it. Would anyone care to join us for lunch?